Working together with you, Terence creates a safe environment in which to move towards the relationship you and your partner would like to have. With an active yet empathic style, he will intervene to help you identify unhelpful patterns. As couples grow in their understanding of each other and of the origins of their conflict they are better able to avoid old triggers of conflict: they find new ways to talk about difficulties and build on new ideas that help sustain a better relationship.
Terence believes that a key to successful relationships is being able to know your own thoughts and feelings, and to have an awareness of whatever ‘baggage’ we bring from our family and other influences. In therapy couples may come to understand, empathize with, and reflect on each other’s family influences in a compassionate way.
Often couples have had specific incidents, fights, or conversations which may have resulted in a serious loss of trust, and a sense that their emotional attachment is broken. Addressing these hurts in couples therapy Terence tries to help couples explore their emotional needs. Often partners change their perceptions of the other when they come to understand their inner hurt.
This process can allow people to heal their wounds, develop a sensitivity towards each other and rebuild a secure emotional bond.
It can take quite a bit of courage for partners to open up and express often-suppressed feelings and thoughts. It opens the door for dealing with intimacy in a new way. Feeling validated by one another for this encourages a softening, corrective expression of their more vulnerable feelings. When this is consolidated in the therapy a couple can continue to grow closer when they finish.
Should couples decide to separate, Terence will assist them to disengage in ways which are respectful and protective of family well-being.